Saturday, October 9, 2010
I do not get to watch much TV therefore I am illiterate when it comes to reviewing TV shows. But Wonder Man posted this video and I had to respond.
I could not finish watching this BS. Here you have Oprah living in the “down low” asking sexual identity questions to a black man that is now comfortable with disclosing his Identity as a gay man. My problem with her assumptions is that straight versus gay are encapsulated into the same binomials as black and white, rich and poor, healthy versus sick, norm versus abnormal, right versus wrong.
Here is my problem, the trap behind gay versus straight binomial is that it proposes that sexual identity like being gay equals sexual acts, equals gender, equals sexuality. And all or those terms need to be openly discussed when dismantling the homo versus heterosexual domains.
When I was young I used to have sex with another man who got married and created a live within the so-called “norm.” On an occasion we met at a billiard bar and he popped a fag joke and I asked him, have you told your wife that we used to have sex? And his response was I have never being gay I love pussy. So I asked him how would she feel if I were to disclose to her that you got off on my rim jobs? He told me I love pussy, should I be condemned for that? To which I responded we are on a public space and you feel is OK to belittle my identity but think nothing of the fact that you enjoyed it.
Weather he is or not on the “Down low”, I do not give a shit. Because the way I see it, he having sex with me does not make him gay, perhaps horny. I must confess that he used to come to me after caressing his girlfriend for long hours in her father’s balcony. In some cases it was easy for him to get his rocks off with me than with a chick, because of fear of being expose of infidelities. He knew that I was on a disadvantage if I ever broadcasted to anyone about our sexual relationships.
And why because if I were to do so we were both going to be outcast as fags; neither one of us wanted that, especially me with a high pitch voice and a history of being called a "fag" since I was five.
He was in the army, an athlete, and a boxer. I on the other hand, hang out with the girls, dance disco, and had a ponytail. You got the picture! In my social group sexual acts were not disclosed if they were not with in the “norm.”
And this is my point! No, I do not think that all men that have sex with men are gay. No, I do not think that sexual identity is easy, especially if you are identified or belong to the fringe; which in this case can cast anyone as sick or having aids. And no, not all sexual acts can be define as procreative acts, or solely confine to couples to only perform acts of copulation. I just recently heard of a close relative of mine who is a republican, who is straight, who goes to church, and who straps a dildo to please her man. Is she and her husband gay? I choose to not care. Honestly I do not give a shit. But what I am more interested is in dissenting from the narrative of the “norm.” Sexuality, sexual acts and sexual identity are far more complex to be boxed in the straight gay domain.
And Oprah discourse in this matter is, only benefiting her pocket. She loves the surprised gasps and the laughter of her audience for her ratings. I give her a d- for attempt. Perhaps she wanted to jump in the bang wagon of the “Long” saga where millionaires have a frenzy to debunk each other. But to me is not interesting nor it gets my rocks off. Because the way I see it, with all the bucks she has, she could have hire some extra researchers to make a solid point other than the domestic framework she presented.